D.B. Grady

While professional curmudgeons like to berate the proliferation of (admittedly) narcissistic personal questionnaires, it’s refreshing to know that they’ve been around for centuries. Indeed, in the 1800s they were all the rage, and Marcel Proust famously answered one that has withstood the test of time. This questionnaire is commonly seen in Vanity Fair magazine, and most recently, my hero Christopher Hitchens answered it in his remarkable memoir, Hitch-22. Below are my answers to the Proust Questionnaire.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Watching loved ones suffer.

Where would you like to live?
Post-apocalypse. (Although I suppose that’s “when” would I like to live. Hopefully someone will push The Button soon.)

What is your idea of earthly happiness?
Sometimes I watch King of the Hill and marinate in the contentment of Hank Hill, the good father satisfied selling propane and propane accessories, and proud to be assistant manager of Strictland Propane. That’s where I want to be, but I’m not sure how to get there.

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Over at The Atlantic, I throw rocks at the Obama administration for sacking General Stanley McChrystal. A snippet:

General Stanley McChrystal is the best in the world at what he does, so long as the world is not watching. As commander of JSOC, the Joint Special Operations Command, he oversaw and engaged in missions that put bullets into thousands of terrorists, including Al Qaida in Iraq leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. As Michael Hastings reports in the now-infamous Rolling Stone profile that proved the general’s undoing, “He went out on dozens of nighttime raids during his time in Iraq, unprecedented for a top commander, and turned up on missions unannounced, with almost no entourage.” Hastings relates the sentiments of a British officer: “The fucking lads love Stan McChrystal. You’d be out in Somewhere, Iraq, and someone would take a knee beside you, and a corporal would be like ‘Who the fuck is that?’ And it’s fucking Stan McChrystal.”

Read the rest here. Send hate mail here.

For background, here is the Rolling Stone piece referenced.

On a different note, my last piece for The Atlantic was a profile of heroic war correspondent Michael Yon. I conducted a lot of interviews for that article and took a lot of heat for defending Yon, but in the end, he was right. That piece was the first (of any I’m aware) to suggest:

- McChrystal’s days were numbered.
- Petraeus would be the most likely successor.
- The ascent of James Mattis, who is now rumored to take over CENTCOM.

A few side-notes as well. The McChrystal piece was submitted seconds after the Petraeus announcement, so I mention him only in closing. I have nothing but respect for General Petraeus. He is the definition of an American hero, and will one day be mentioned in the same breath as Washington, Alexander, Agrippa, Napoleon, and Patton. By taking command of the war in Afghanistan, General Petraeus is taking a demotion, and I believe he is doing it out of loyalty to Stanley McChrystal. The nation owes General McChrystal a debt it can never fully repay. His achievements in Iraq are second to none, and his plan for Afghanistan is both humane and insightful. To see him go is a great loss to the Army and the war. It’s a sad day when warriors survive daily firefights only to be taken down by media firestorms.

Also: I’m not sure but I think I may have set a record for most uses of the word “fuck” in an Atlantic piece.

The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us. Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, “This was their finest hour.” - Sir Winston Churchill, 70 years ago today.

- The complete text.
- The audio.

Here are a few reasons to keep the Internet, courtesy of my intrepid readers.

Frugal Teen Buys House with 4-H Winnings
> Lindsay Binegar was 14 the first time she spent any winnings from years of showing hogs. She bought a purse. The second time, at 18, she splurged. She bought a four-bedroom, two-bathroom house with a two-car garage. And she paid in cash.

Signing in the Waldenbooks by Parnell Hall
> This hilarious (and all too true) depiction of a typical midlist author’s experiences with signings features the funny and talented Parnell Hall, author of the Puzzle Lady mysteries, as well as the newly-revived Stanley Hastings private eye novels.

Meet the Fourteen Year Old Toilet Aficionado, ToiletDude7
> On March 24, 2009, Toiletdude7 recorded himself flushing a Universal Rundle Atlas toilet and uploaded it to YouTube. Since then, he’s uploaded more than 183 videos of toilets flushing. We spoke to ToiletDude7 about his unusual passion.

Recipe: Root Beer Float Cupcakes
> Root beer floats are one of those things that my brothers and I loved as kids. I don’t know about them, but for me, its still something that I love to have on occasion. That’s why I wanted to make a cupcake that tasted like a root beer float. I mean come on, nothing is more fun than a cupcake, or root beer floats… why not combine the two.

Hacking Netflix
> Netflix news and info

Study Suggests Hand Washing Cleanses The Mind
> Reporting in the journal Science, researchers write that hand washing seems to lower the amount of second-guessing and rationalization that occur after making a decision. Study author Spike W.S. Lee discusses the paper, and why the simple act of washing one’s hands could ease the mind.

Steve Jobs Offers World Freedom from Porn
> Rare is the CEO who will spar one-on-one with customers and bloggers like this. Jobs deserves big credit for breaking the mold of the typical American executive, and not just because his company makes such hugely superior products: Jobs not only built and then rebuilt his company around some very strong opinions about digital life, but he’s willing to defend them in public. Vigorously. Bluntly. At two in the morning on a weekend.

Happy SAHD
> What happens when a family decides that Dad will stay at home with the kids while Mom works? SAHDs (Stay-At-Home Dads) are a growing trend in our culture. This new documentary by award winning Baltimore filmmaker Michael Ivan Schwartz, Happy SAHD follows a dozen Baltimore-area fathers who have chosen for a variety of reasons to be the daily caregiver for their children. This illuminating and humorous movie reveals the every day life trials, tribulations and triumphs of these unique men living outside the norm.

Huge Book Sale at Amazon.com
> Enjoy incredible savings on the titles you love in Bargain Books. From former bestsellers to textbooks, there’s something for every reader, and daily markdowns make it a store to check often. Take advantage of our lowest prices on thousands of books today, as we can’t guarantee they’ll be in stock tomorrow.

The Best of Clarence Boddicker
> “BITCHES LEAVE – said with 0% emotion. Could only be Clarence Boddicker, haven’t seen many hardcore bad guys like this in films for years. Surely one of the best 80s films, absolutely classic.” – GlynOtto

A few wonderful things I found today:

The Lost Tribes of RadioShack (Wired)
> The story of RadioShack’s evolution over the past half century turns out to be the story of America’s changing relationship with technology. The RadioShacks of old catered to customers who could diagnose a busted TV on their basement workbench. They might be messing around with some project on a Saturday afternoon, find that they were missing a part, and hustle out to the nearest RadioShack for some of the very gear Cohen still stocks.

But his shop is a lone outpost; in a single generation, the American who built, repaired, and tinkered with technology has evolved into an entirely new species: the American who prefers to slip that technology out of his pocket and show off its killer apps. Once, we were makers. Now most of us are users.

Top Ten Motivation Boosters and Procrastination Killers (Lifehacker)
> The part of your brain that was forged in caveman times doesn’t want you to risk doing something great on your next project, to jump to a new career, to start writing on the side. It wants you to stay fed, remain quiet, and simply survive.

The Kentucky GOP Senate Debate (YouTube)
> [This is not the kind of thing I watch for fun. The most impressive debate I've seen in my lifetime was in 2000, between Dick Cheney and Joe Lieberman. But this was a perfect matching of the four styles of Republicanism, and, I suspect, a crystal ball into the future of the party. Just for the record, I think Rand Paul won fairly decisively. I covered the Southern Republican Leadership Conference for The Atlantic, and was struck not only by the passion of Ron Paul's supporters (Rand's father), but by the unlikely man on the stage inspiring that passion. He's not slick, he's not young, he's not tall, he's not handsome, and he's not a great speaker. But he's one of the few politicians on the national stage that knows not only what he believes, but why he believes it. And that sincerity -- that wisdom -- comes across. And that's what motivates his supporters, which are a growing minority in the GOP. (I'm not a Ron Paul voter, but I get it now, and I appreciate it.) All of this is to say that Rand Paul not only has his father's intellect, but has a spark that suggests President Paul isn't so farfetched a notion. - DBG]

8 Websites You Need to Stop Building (The Oatmeal)

Superheroes Suck! (Salon)
> Even at the peak of their creative powers, big-budget comic book films are usually more alike than different. And over time, they seem to blur into one endless, roiling mass of cackling villains, stalwart knights, tough/sexy dames, and pyrotechnic showdowns that invariably feature armored vehicles (or armor-encased men) bashing into each other. When such movies accumulate praise, it’s encrusted with implied asterisks: “The best superhero film ever made,” say, or “The best Batman film since Tim Burton’s original.” If the Hollywood studio assembly line is high school in a John Hughes movie, superhero films are the jocks — benighted beneficiaries of grade inflation and reflexive fan boosterism. (Critics who don’t like a particular superhero film — any superhero film — are apt to be simultaneously blasted in online comments threads as aesthetic turistas ill-equipped to judge the work’s true depth and snooty killjoys who expect too much and need to lighten the hell up. Neat trick.)

Microsoft Makes Free Version of Office (Seattle Times)
> As always, Microsoft has put much effort into building new features for the software.

Office Web Apps, for instance, allows users to create, edit and share Office docs with people who have Office and those who don’t. Two people could simultaneously edit the same spreadsheet, Word document or PowerPoint presentation from different locations through a PC, the Web or a Windows Mobile phone.

“It’s nice to be able to walk to any PC connected to the Internet and you can use Office Web Apps to create docs. You can round-trip the files from the PC to the phone to the browser,” Capossela said. “Nothing is gone. The pictures, footers, headers will all be there.”

Make Your Own Jabba (Microsoft Docs)
> [This is why the Internet was invented. - DBG]

Well, it’s official. I’m a Celebrity. Where do I pick up my bling? Many thanks to @shararee and the readers of Huffington Post. My first act as a famous person will be to ask the waiter why he thinks it’s okay to make eye-contact with me.

Fourth time’s the charm, right? The difference between this site and the last is photographer-writer-designer Eva Blue, who turned my rambling, nonsensical requests into an elegant, minimalist design. This is the blog I’ve always wanted. As always, I welcome your comments at db (at) dbgrady (dot) com. And happy reading.

Travelpro Platinum 6

When flying, there is no reason to check a bag, ever. I am an devotee of one-bag packing, and while this is not a how-to (there are many sites brimming with such information), I will touch on a few basic techniques that every traveler should know.

My bag of choice is the Travelpro Platinum 6 22″ Vertical Garments-To-Go carry-on.

A word about carry-ons. The standard size for an airline carry-on bag is 45 linear inches (that is, length + width + height), with dimensions of 22″ x 14″ x 9″ being the most favorable measurements. Anything larger or oddly-shaped runs the risk of being rejected by the flight crew and made to be checked. A checked bag is a lost bag.

(Click “read more” to read the rest of the story.)

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